My Christmas wish would be to have an entire week off. To spend it with my family and just curl up and watch Christmas movies when it's snowing outside.
May I share with you my earliest memory of a political row? It was with my mother about the Queen - classic Freudian stuff shrinks would say. I was eight and refusing to watch the Queen's Christmas Day broadcast.
My favorite traditional Christmas movie that I like to watch is All Quiet on the Western Front. It's just not December without that movie in my house.
If you start to disrespect the character you're playing or play it too much for laughs that can work for a sketch it will sell some gags but it's all technique. It's like watching a juggler - you can be impressed by it but it's not going to touch you in any way.
I can deal with people who watch me on stage but I am not good in communicating with people any other way than through my work.
As a kid I was always mad - just noticing the women at Thanksgiving running around the kitchen while the men were watching football. For one I don't want to cook and for two I hate football. I was stuck in the middle.
I find a lot of inspiration in street style and watching women walk the way they wear things and what they're wearing.
Some men have a silly theory about beautiful women - that somewhere along the line they'll turn into a monster. That movie gave them a chance to watch it happen.
A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors young and old seem to be afflicted by android Barbie creep. All those thick swatches of lifeless strands clustering lankly round ladies' necks! Like orange tanning spray this is a fashion fad that should be put out of its misery.
Women didn't want to watch other women on television because they were jealous of their husbands' diverted attention.
After a gig I always head back to the hotel remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
Your art kind of changes as you get older by nature of the fact that you're hopefully gaining wisdom and you're starting to watch things with a better overview.
A man's got two shots for jewelry: a wedding ring and a watch. The watch is a lot easier to get on and off than a wedding ring.
Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi raise aphids as livestock launch armies into war use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies capture slaves engage in child labour exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television.
It's a tough thing to know what to do about a war that deep in your gut you feel is wrong and yet watch your peers going off to fight in that war.
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference they say is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob.
I'm interested in trying to explore what I think is the truth at a given time in my life and part of the process of being honest is - in my mind - talking about the idea that you're watching a movie. You're sitting here watching a movie. And I like that. It appeals to me intellectually and also in a way I can't even explain.
When you stretch the truth watch out for the snapback.
Me I'm dishonest and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly it's the honest ones you have to watch out for.
All the rappers my age are getting Audemars and Rolexes. I want to find my own thing. That's why I travel the world - for me that's my B-side why we go places. I have a Hublot on from time to time but I want a home base watch - something that's elegant but has got a little pizzazz to it.
Taking time to sit back and watch and think about what you've seen is important. Traveling did a great deal to me. I found that when I travel and just sit in the corner and watch a million ideas come to me.
Sometimes you want to go for a walk and you don't want to be watched. You just want to be anonymous and blend in. Especially when I travel I feel that way because I can't really go out and see a city the way other people can and I miss out on a lot.
When I thought I was retired I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.
Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?