My grandma's the most careful safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!
Quote: I've been screaming at the top of my lungs at my family 'Work out! Work out! Old age is coming!'
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Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.
The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and...